Confessions of an alleged adult

Adulthood, its a weird thing. It's no secret. I'm the person I've always been but its a preconceived notion that in order to be perceived as an adult in this  weirdo backwards world we seem to live in, you must (according to society and the upper class) have money, and have a picture perfect husband and a child who will in the future be a proud student of Gateway Academy or Kumon or some snobby upperclass education institution. I am not any of these things. I do however have a penchant for big glasses of red wine, or Michelob Ultras, Hello Kitty things still make me smile, I laugh at fart jokes, I make faces at small children when they're parents aren't looking, I longboard skateboard and I hate dress pants. I think smart cars are stupid and tourists, are the bane of my existence. I laugh at things everyday, and I think surfing is the missing part of my life. I sing loudly in my car, and I smile and sometimes wave at strangers. If adulthood excludes these things then I will start an entirely new category of life called "Epic-hood" which is just a continuation of the younger, former self to present day...just more so. I don't think that the perfect life is for me, I'm way to much of an 'outside the box the-world-is-one-great-mystery' type of person. I think sand on my feet supercedes a pedicure any day, and the sun and sand heal all. Floating and swimming around in mother ocean are all I need to bring me back a sense of calm. So adulthood sucks, I will usher in "Epic-hood". I said it first, remember that.